Do not touch your body with bad intentions. Rub your belly when it is full. Stroke your soft skin. Hug yourself, even if it’s silly, because it feels nice. Pleasure yourself. Do not touch your body with bad intentions. Do not pinch at the fat on your stomach. Do not scratch at your skin. Do not hate the shell you’re encased in.
It just dawned on me thy I’m dancing 4 (5 if you count ShimmyMob) numbers in our May show.
When the hell did that happen? All well, I’ll rock it, costume changes and all :)
The Opposite end of traditional “street harassment”: the girl who never get’s cat called
In feminist spaces I see a lot of feminists complain about being street harassed. I read about it and I totally sympathize with their experiences, even though I have never experienced them myself. I am a female myself but am not conventionally attractive. I am not hideous but more or less a plain jane. On top of that I have ALWAYS valued comfort over style, so dressing feminine isn’t something I do on a regular basis. I wear a lot of loose jeans and T-shirts. But yeah, anyway, know that I am not trying to play “who has it harder” or anything but rather I am making this to share my experiences of getting the opposite end of the shit-covered stick that is street harassment that I don’t see being mentioned. I call it street dismissal.
When I say street dismissal I am talking about men who feel the need to subtly announce that unattractive women are not worthy of respect or acknowledgement because they are not a conventionally attractive female or their fellow man.
Some examples I’ve personally experienced include:
- Many guys at parties will arrive or leave, give all the men handshakes, give the attractive women hugs, but won’t even make eye contact with me. I am not a guy or a hot girl so I don’t exist.
- I’ve been bumped into in public without an apology by men. I am not an attractive girl or your fellow man, so it makes sense for you to not even notice I am there.
- One time I was walking behind a group of attractive women. A guy spotted us. Opened the door for the three women and shut the door in my face. I am not worthy of his time because I am not attractive.
- I once was charged a cover on ladies night because I went out to the bar in my work uniform. (red shirt khaki pants)
- Another time at a bar, I saw an open space to order a drink. The guy sitting next to me saw me, raised his eyebrows and turned the other way to make sure I don’t DARE try to talk to him. (Because I totally went there to hit on him and NOT get a drink right?)
- I once went with my gay male friend to a straight guys house he knew. The first thing out of the straight guy’s mouth was “I was totally excited when you had a chick with you. Nevermind!” the whole night he offered my friend drinks and didn’t offer me a thing and seemed frustrated when I asked where the bathroom was. The only other thing he said that night was “do you have any hot single friends that would come over here?”
- Another time I went with a female friend of mine to get drinks. We met up with her guy friend. He ordered a round of beers for everyone except me. His excuse was “he didn’t know she was going to bring someone along and he is low on money” that was until his guy friend from high school showed up unexpectedly and he quickly bought him a drink.
These are just examples that have happened to me. So my question is are there any other “unattractive” girls out there that experience things similar to this?
I just wanted to speak from the other perspective. We always hear the horror stories of sexism from the perspective of the women who are objectified by men in the sense of “oo I want that.” and not too many in the sense of “oo, ew DO NOT WANT”
This may seem like a big long rant that looks like “WAH PRETTY GIRLS GET THINGS AND I DON’T OH MY LIFE SUCKS” but I don’t mean to come off that way. Because I feel the need to mention that guys don’t do this just to get laid. This is where it’s important to bring up the fact that we are treated with less respect than other men. Men aren’t decent people to other men because they want to fuck them. They are decent to them because they see them as equals that deserve basic respect and acknowledgement. But we are women and to these men either you try to fuck them because they are hot or want them to go away. An unattractive woman has no purpose to him.
Misogyny affects all women negatively.
THIS IS IMPORTANTAs a woman who gained a lot of weight right out of high-school and spent 3 years in ill fitting clothes and various terrible haircuts, then lost the weight in her early twenties and drastically refined her look — I have lived both sides of this equation. And I think having experienced the dismissal makes it all the more glaringly obvious how hollow the so called “positive” attention really is.
This video is so, so important. A Jewish girl, and a Muslim girl, both poets, deliver a powerful piece on stereotypes.
Forget what we’ve been indoctrinated to think by our parents, schools, communities, religions and governments. We are all human. Let’s be the generation of peace.
When it hurts, stop what you’re doing and figure out what’s wrong!
If you’re doing an exercise and it hurts, you need to evaluate exactly what’s happening. You cannot always push through or ignore pain and still expect to yield positive results. Are you using improper form? Are you pushing your body beyond its limits? Are you injured? Are you about to be injured? Stop and take a moment to figure out exactly what’s going on with your body and determine whether or not you’re in danger. If the pain is only fleeting and isn’t actually “pain” in the severe sense, then you can make an informed decision and push through it. But if this pain is a signal that something has gone wrong, then you need to recognize that and do something to fix it.
Consciously and purposely putting yourself in pain is not a healthy mindset - Memes like this represent a form of self-harm.
No they don’t… Smh can’t believe you wrote a goddamn psa holy shit… Try replacing ‘hurt’ with ‘burn’ and maybe you’ll understand how the meme was intended..
I know how the meme was intended. The problem is that the intention is harmful. The image here doesn’t say “burn,” nor would that term even improve it. Changing the word doesn’t make the mentality and the action any healthier.
The phrase “No pain, No gain” is factually incorrect. Your muscles will grow and strengthen even if you don’t experience burning during exercise. You can even get significantly stronger without experiencing DOMS or soreness afterward. It’s fine for the average person to undergo muscle stress, fatigue and slight discomfort when they exercise, but pain (especially if it occurs in a joint) implies something much greater than that. This is when you’re actively courting injury.
It’s important to remember that this meme does not exist in a vacuum. It’s part of a fitness culture that values and promotes pain. So many people genuinely believe that soreness and pain are a necessary part of exercise and being healthy. Hugely famous fitness trainers like Jillian Micheals make a living by promoting the concept of “No pain, no gain.” They teach young people that working out has to hurt, otherwise you’re lazy and you’re not going to make any progress.
It’s not healthy to deliberately provoke a feeling of pain at any point in your life. Pain should not be seen as a way of legitimizing a workout or determining whether a person is taking exercise seriously or not. And especially if the feeling of soreness is fulfilling a more emotional need in a person’s daily life, it’s very likely that they’re engaging in a harmful relationship with exercise. Working out isn’t a form of punishment - It should make you feel better, not worse.
Some reading that you may want to check out:
- Manitoba Government Educational Pamphlet
- School of Rehabilitation Sciences
- Cellular and Molecular Life Sciences
- Journal of Sports Medicine and Physical Fitness
- Sports Medicine
- Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports
- Journal of Experimental Biology
- Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research
So go ahead and shake your head in disbelief at this post if it boggles your mind that badly. I’m cool with that, it’s certainly better than using exercise as a method of engaging in self-harm. PSAs all the way.